


Neverland

by Yamiga



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Captivity, Friendship, M/M, Romance, Stockholm Syndrome, Twisted Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 12:11:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3134030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamiga/pseuds/Yamiga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arima found an escape from reality in Haise, and foolishly, put his trust in the very person whom he was supposed to control. Blind with the illusion of friendship, he walks into the biggest mistake of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neverland

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr Prompt.

He supposed that after the life he had lived, the price for happiness was surely pain.

Whether it be pain towards himself, or pain of another he was unclear and yet, he was certain that he’d jumbled both together.

By nature, Arima understood that he was subjected to a certain amount of pain, and for most of his life, he believed himself to be the only one that could truly understand that type of pain he went through.

But now however, years later, he discovered that by fate, he was wrong. By chance, someone else understood what it was like to have tragedy raining on them like a cloud from day one, and to only continue life in the same motion one would walking to the noose.

In short, he felt that finally, someone could understand him.

However, as time went on, he realized….that wasn’t a very good thing.

After defeating and capturing Kaneki Ken, he believed their relationship to be nothing short of pet and owner. Yet, as time went by and countless experiments passed and molded young Kaneki into an oblivious Haise Sasaki, Arima began to feel something more.

 

At first he thought he simply admired Haise. His love for books was obviously a trait he’d kept from Kaneki, and Arima wasn’t going to do anything to fix that. But as days passed, and Arima visited a very curious Haise in the hospital, the two grew closer. Their conversations now contained more than books, and famous authors. Arima took to talking about his rather boring life working at the CCG and at first, this felt strange.

He’d never really rambled about anything, to anyone. He was so used to just keeping his mouth shut and doing what he was told. Now, at least with Haise, things were different. And Haise, was a very good listener. He nodded, gave helpful in put, and actually enjoyed hearing about Arima’s life.

Arima found it easy to tell him anything.

That also included how much he hated the CCG. He supposed he was walking on thin ice, admitting something that terrible, but he figured that Haise wouldn’t judge him. Unlike anyone else, he figured that Haise would care. And Haise did care. But that simple revelation, and his proclamation of hatred for the CCG, was Arima’s one mistake. One mistake that at the time sealed his fate.

Haise for the most part, understood Arima whenever he’d come in to rant, which became increasingly often. But when the Special Class Investigator felt more and more out of character, he directed the conversations to Haise. And while he knew Haise didn’t have a lot to talk about, anything seemed better than complaining.

That’s when Haise brought up a book he hardly remembered, but it somehow sat on the forefront of his mind. He didn’t feel like complaining, mainly because he had nothing to complain about…no, he simply wanted to read. He wanted to read to Arima. So nervously, he had asked Arima to bring him a book that sparked what little memories of his childhood he had left.

That book was  _Peter Pan._

The next day, Haise held  _Peter Pan_ in his hands and he read to Arima, whom presently sat in the chair next to the hospital bed. Arima had never been read to, so this was odd to him. Still, he enjoyed it. He listened to what Haise narrated and almost imagined himself in a better world then he was in now.

“Neverland…” Haise had closed the book. “Wouldn’t that be a fun place to go?”

Arima perked up his eyebrow. “I think so. I’d love Neverland. There wouldn’t have to be killing, nor would there be any troubles to worry about.” Neverland would certainly be a place he’d want to go. How easy would it be to leave this whole world behind.

He figured he wore a distressed expression because at that moment, Haise called out to him. “Are you okay? Arima, you look pale?”

“I’m fine. Thank you.” Arima replied, straightening himself. “Also, I haven’t told you, but you’ll be ready to leave the hospital soon.”

“So I can return to being an investigator.” Haise, cluelessly  responded. And Arima supposed that was good. That implied that the memories instilled by the CCG were working as they were supposed to. Haise was completely oblivious.

“That’s exactly what that means.”

“And…I’ll still be able to see you right?”

“Of course.”

Haise smiled and continued to read the book until he grew tired. He gazed at Arima who was currently asleep in the chair. His elbow propped up his head, that currently rested in his hand. He seemed peaceful, goofy almost as his glasses hung lopsided on his face. Haise scooted towards him.

  
“Why do you still work for the CCG if you dislike it so much?”

Arima didn’t respond, prompting Haise to touch his shoulder. “I’m pretty sure you’d like to see never land. Maybe I’ll take you one day.”

He still didn’t say a word.

Days later, Haise Sasaki stood. He was given a black blouse, black slacks, and shoes to wear. Arima had picked these out, and made sure to let Haise know as he helped dress them.

“I like them.” Haise had commented. “They compliment my hair…well, at least the black patch.” He laughed, and surprisingly, Arima laughed too…well he chuckled. But there was slight emptiness behind that, and only Haise could point that out.

He grew quiet, as he buttoned his blouse. By now, Arima’s hands were just at his side, and he looked down. His eyes were completely void of any emotions.

“Arima.” The air had gotten a bit darker around the two, and motionless, they stood as if time itself had stopped. Haise gazed into Arima’s eyes or what he could see of them. For the first time, now that he had looked, Haise realized that Arima’s eyes were a soft olive color. As strange as that was, it was unique. Other than his hair being completely white, that was another thing that stood out.

In addition, Haise realized more than often that Arima looked sad. This was just one of those moments when he wanted to pull Arima into a hug, or do something to make him feel better. He knew how strange it would be, but he felt something between himself and Arima. Arima was all he knew, his only source of comfort.

“Arima.” Haise repeated, getting no response. It was almost as if laughing, paralyzed Arima. So Haise took a few steps forward and grabbed his hands. “Is everything okay?”

Arima was brought back from whatever day dream he was in. He blinked suddenly, realizing that Haise had grabbed him. He simply forced another fake smile.

“I’m fine. I guess I was just thinking of something. Those clothes are a really nice fit Haise.” Arima softly pulled his hands from Haise’s and took a few predicted steps back. “I hope you like your new apartment.”

Haise looked around and shrugged. “It’s nice, but I bet it’ll get lonely. I can decorate though…maybe you can stay over some time?”

Arima looked taken back, but rested his posture. “That would be nice.”

And days later, the two did just that.

Arima sometimes came over to Haise’s apartment, and Haise visited Arima’s house. They ate, they read and watched television together. Their relationship was going strong, and while at the time, Arima didn’t know where exactly it was going, he was completely fine with it. Opening up like this, albeit strange, felt really good. Haise seemed to catch this drift from Arima as well. It was easy to tell when someone who had bottled up their feelings for most of their life was finally happy.

One night, Haise decided to act on Arima’s feelings.

The two were just sitting on Haise sofa. The TV was turned low so Haise could read to Arima. This had become a habit after a while. And Arima, like always, listened despite the fact that he was growing extremely tired.

He had taken his glasses off at some point right before resting his elbow on the arm of the couch. He propped his head up in his palm and allowed his eyes to close. Haise still read  _Peter Pan_  but noticed that Arima began to drift. So he closed his book, placed it down, and certain that Arima was asleep, he scooted towards him.

In a strange and probably uncomfortable way, he crawled into Arima’s lap and edged towards his face. He wasn’t sure if he kissed Arima, but their lips touched. Arima just opened his eyes before Haise could really…complete this kiss.

It was safe to say that things were still okay between the two because Arima simply smiled as Haise crawled off. “Did you need something?” He asked quietly.

“No…I just…” Haise’s tongue began to twist, and altogether, he sounded like an idiot. Arima just laughed.

“Read to me again.” He softly commanded. “I like hearing your voice.”

Haise, who was blushing like mad, took the book and continued to read. Arima continued to listen until he fell asleep. Incidentally, he fell sideways into Haise’s lap. Already dozed off and exhausted, he was unaware of the current position he was in.

Haise didn’t care. He looked away from his book and gazed down at Arima. At that moment, Arima looked so calm. He was, Haise thought, in a state of peace. There was a smile plastered upon his face and his cheeks were slightly flushed. Haise wanted to see Arima like that a lot more. It was a change from the way he usually looked.

However, as reality came to hit, Haise figured out that happiness was only short lived for Arima. As the following week, Arima was sent on mission after mission. He rarely had time to visit Haise, and when he did, their meetings were cut short. He seemed distant, his eyes held no emotions, and altogether, he carried an aura of sadness about him. Melancholy almost. There wasn’t an ounce of happiness in his bones.

It was painful for Haise to watch how the man he loved, drastically transformed into a dull, void killing machine. He’d seen Arima on the field, and understood the expectations he and others had erected for him. He was basically a robot, crafted to do what others told him.

Haise, reached a point where he just couldn’t accept that. He missed reading books to him, making him dinner, allowing him to sleep on his couch and marveling at how innocent and childlike he looked. He’d seen Arima with other investigators and he looked out of place. They were happy, but he was not, it was almost as if he didn’t exist to them, unless he was being praised.

Haise figured that was the pain that Arima had to pay for perfection.

Loneliness.

Haise wondered if that’s how he wanted life to be…and for a while, when Arima had cut all ties with him, figured that.

After all, Arima was flawless, an idol, special class….and then he remembered.

“ _I’d love Neverland. There wouldn’t have to be killing, nor would there be any troubles to worry about.”_

Remembering this, hurt Haise all the more. That was during a time when Arima was happier, when he was free…or, maybe not free, but at ease. In his own temporary Neverland. And now, here he was, taken away and forced back into the clutches of reality. Haise couldn’t accept that. He couldn’t accept that the only person in the world he cared for was deteriorating inside. He felt, that the had to do something…And he would do something.

So one night, when Arima returned home after a long day at work, Haise was standing there in the shadows.

He watched how Arima threw off his overcoat, undid his tie and took off his shoes. He had stress written all over his face. For a few minutes, he paced around the living room and sat down in an arm chair. A book rested near the night table, and without much thinking he grabbed it. He only had it for five seconds before he tossed it to the ground.

He stood up rapidly and walked to the kitchen, where Haise still stood unseen. By Arima’s movements, it was obvious something was troubling him. He seemed angry as he marched to the refrigerator and pulled out a beverage…a beer it looked like.

Haise didn’t like seeing Arima like this, and he most certainly didn’t want to see him drink. So slowly taking a knife from the counter, Haise stepped into view. Arima, visibly surprised, dropped the bottle of beer in the floor. Shattered glass and pungent beer fell to the floor.

“H…Haise.” He sounded different, caught in the act almost. No one had ever seen him like this, completely undone and just angry at…at everything. It seemed like he had set boundaries for himself, and he was ashamed of acting such a way. “You’re…what are you doing here?”

“Arima.” Haise took a step forward, hiding the knife from view. “I was worried, you’ve been distant lately_”

“I’ve been busy.” Arima smiled. “I’m sorry for my withdrawal.”

“Stop smiling, if it’s not real.” Haise continued forward, stepping over the beer and glass. “I know you Arima, you aren’t fooling anyone.” And there was that silence that made everything painful, yet at the same time, brought everything to light.

Arima expressionlessly gazed down at Haise, not sure how to respond.

“I thought you said you hated the CCG.” Haise pressed. “Just leave.”

Arima’s mouth, at least one corner, concocted into a smirk. And, no, not a happy smirk. But a “fuck my life” smirk.

“Don’t you see? I can’t Haise…don’t you think I’ve tried.” He took a heavy breath. “I can’t_”

“Wouldn’t it be fun to go to Neverland?” Haise could feel the impeding sadness, so he gave his input. “To be free?”

“That’s from a book Haise. You know there’s no such place.” There was a great amount of empathy in Arima’s voice. “I’m sorry…”

“We can find a place.” Haise exclaimed. “We can build a place.”

“Haise stop.” Arima sighed. “I should have never gotten you that book_”

“I can take you Arima!” Haise’s eyes were glowing with joy.

“Haise, please. Not now, I don’t_”

“Arima…just run away with me,” He took hold of one Arima’s hands and clenched it tightly. He gazed into his trouble eyes and smiled “I know, it sounds crazy…but, don’t you see what you do to me? What you’ve done to me? Let’s just go. This is our last chance, so please Arima.”

“Haise…” As Haise shifted, Arima had noticed the knife in his other hand. He held towards Arima in an offensive way. “Put that down.”

“Just stay with me, I promise life will be amazing…” He was crazed, insane, and far to gone. Arima, by now, knew he had to stop him.

But he was too late.

Haise, still holding Arima’s hand, twisted his arm with one hand, and with the other, stabbed him in the stomach. The knife fell nearly as quickly as Arima did. He came crashing to the ground with a twisted arm and large gaping hole in his stomach. Haise stood over him with a smile on his face.

“I’m going to take you to Neverland…just like you want.” He knelt down and put a hand around Arima’s nose. “Just sleep, it’ll be okay.”

Arima made muffled sounds, and attempted to fight, but Haise was just too strong. He had already lost too much blood, and the pain in his stomach was unimaginable.

“You’ll wake up in Neverland.”

Arima supposed that would be the last thing he would hear.

Four years later, Arima found himself in a garden. He had finished watering the plants as he currently walked down the floral path inside. He shut the screen door behind him and sat down in a red armchair before he went out of breath. After Haise had stabbed him four years ago, he couldn’t walk long distances without growing tired. Nor could he work, or fight the way he used to. He hadn’t fought in four years…he’d been trapped here instead. In the house that Haise had brought him to. Far away from Tokyo, it sat on the country side.

It was Haise’s idea of peace for Arima. He couldn’t be hurt, nor could he experience the stress he would have being an investigator. It was his safe haven, his Neverland.

How he wished it was that simple…but Haise’s view on Neverland was flawed. This was hell for Arima.

He hadn’t left the house in four years. He was pretty sure the CCG fell to chaos…he felt like a failure, and Haise was out doing God knows what. Arima Kishou was erased from the face of the Earth. Haise made sure of that. He changed his last name to Sasaki, and made it impossible for him to escape the house or reach the outside world.

The tables had certainly been turned.

And it was beyond pitiful for someone like Arima. He had been downgraded, transformed into a useless being. He had pleaded with Haise various times to let him go, but that resulted in Haise giving him a book to read instead. “You haven’t read yet”, he’d say. “No wonder you’re so cranky”.

So Arima read, and read, while each book, each and every page brought him closer to insanity. So he took to watering plants, to planting seeds, just so he could know that time hadn’t frozen. This method seemed to work, but he was still completely aware of the reality he was in. He was, as Haise wanted, stuck in his own Neverland.

That evening, like most evenings, Arima found himself reading on the sofa. That night, it was Franz Kafka’s  _Crossbreed._ He’d countless times, read this book, and years ago, he used it to parallel the relationship he and Haise had or used to have. However, now that things had fallen to complete and utter shit, Arima found himself reading that book less and less often.

So he ended up closing it, and laying down. He rested his head on the sofa’s arm and tried to fall asleep.

His eyes weren’t closed for more than ten minutes when he heard Haise come inside. He didn’t even look at Haise as he stepped through the threshold. Haise took his shoes off and sat on the couch where Arima presently lay down. He first moved some hair from Arima’s face, so he could bend down, and kiss him on the forehead.

Arima didn’t move.

Haise only chuckled. “You don’t like Franz Kafka anymore?”

Silence.

“Maybe I should read it to you.”

“So what? You can turn me into a creature that’s half kitten, half lamb?” Arima perked up, offended by Haise’s comment.

“What makes you think that?”

At that moment, Arima, who could hardly take Haise’s presence, stood. “You seem to do whatever interests you in books.”

Haise stood and followed him. “I gave you your Neverland.” He whispered. “You should be happy. You don’t have to worry about anything….”

“This isn’t Neverland. This is craziness…” Arima, without really thinking, had edged towards the door. His hand delicately touched the doorknob causing Haise to advance towards him.

“And what are you going to do? Leave? You don’t exist anymore.” He took hold of Arima’s arm. “And what makes you think I’ll let you leave? You’ve tried before.”

“And it’s worth it every single time_”

It happened quicker than Arima had expected, but nevertheless, he expected it. He was struck across the face before he completed his sentence and like a fallen warrior, he crashed down. He gathered himself instantly, but didn’t stand. He leaned against the door and glared at his feet.

Haise knelt down next to him. “I hate doing this to you…but you just have to understand. You’re safe now, and no one can hurt you.” He crawled towards Arima and pulled him into a forced hug. “You’re mine now. My little lamb, my little kitten…I saved you, Kishou.”

Hearing his first name still irked him beyond belief but saying something wouldn’t change anything. So he kept his mouth shut.

Haise continued to hug him until he crawled further into his lap, and pulled him into a deep kiss. Arima, didn’t dare kiss him back.

“I’ll show you one day, that this is right.” Haise smiled and gazed into Arima’s emotionless eyes.

“You have no concept whatsoever of what’s right and wrong.” Arima replied. “I can’t keep living like this.”

“But you will,” Haise rested his head on Arima’s chest. “Because you can’t leave…you can’t escape…this is” He smiled. “your Neverland.”


End file.
